Gardening with Amber – a TV spoof

Good morning!!


Welcome to Gardening with Amber (Season 1, Episode 1), a five-star mystery/action/lame gardening show sponsored by Doll-lightful Days TV! This episode (called: “Sorry, poor, freezing Americans”), the epic series starter, shows Amber investigating the various clues left around the garden and concluding… well, you have to watch to find out! Over to Amber.

Amber: Hello my darlings! Welcome to the garden! As you can see, I am ready to explore with my ultra-stylish gardening outfit!! By the front door we have stationed a cluster of beautiful flowers. Now, these were not found in our garden, because our garden has been pre-tty  busy…


Amber: Get a load of this! We are well into our snowdrop season and have already started on the crocuses! Piece of evidence #1: flowers!



Amber travels across the front yard, hunting for clues…!

Amber: Further investigation shows that crocuses are not the only flowers that are sprouting… these hyacinths are getting a head start too! Hyacinths don’t only come in pink, but also in purple, white, etc… who knows, we soon might have a whole spectrum! Evidence #2: More flowers! Follow me, we’re off to the backyard!





In the backyard, there aren’t as many pieces of evidence, but Amber crawls through bushes to find a huge clue!

Amber: Purple isn’t the only variety crocuses come in…. yellow and white too! So pretty! Evidence #3: EVEN MORE flowers! OK, I think that’s all here. Kit, move out.


Amber pops inside for a rest and spots piece of evidence number four: store bought flowers (yaaaayyy).

Amber: If the stores are selling lots of bright flowers, that’s probably a sign too! Evidence #4: ARE THERE ANY OTHER CLUES OR ARE THEY ALL JUST FLOWERS?


Back in the studio against a completely fake backdrop, Amber changes into a less ridiculous outfit.


Amber: Have you solved the mystery yet? Let’s take a look at our evidence!


Copyright Emma Hawthorne, NOT KIT KITTREDGE

Amber: Lots of crocuses and other various flowers, store bought, or not! So from this evidence I have concluded… ready…


Collective sigh from Emma and Willow.

Well folks, that concludes it for season 1, episode 1! Buy the new, extended DVD soon with this special feature:



A Kit Kittredge production, starring the famous Willow McIntire; Cannibal Flowers! Join your favorite gardener and her short, varied and plastic companions as they discover the flowers that plan to consume the human race…


And an never-see-before animated short, How Far Can He Push The Pumpkin? (Disclosure: We know it has nothing at all to do with gardening, flowers, or the current season, but lets all pretend it does.)

Only for $49.99! Buy it now before they run out!

Director: Kit Kittredge

Starring: Amber J. Williams as Strange Unfashionable Garden Weirdo

Costumes/props: Emma Hawthorne

Set design: Willow McIntire

Alien noises in background (music): Various humani

A Doll-lightful Days production, 2014, The Netherlands

Doll-lightful Days TV

Ratings: “I have never been so bored in my life!” – John Smith, Nevada

“The worst thing the television has yet to show; building igloos is more fun than THIS!” – Eva Johnson, Antartica

“The best show I have ever had the privilege to watch!” Nobody, Ever

Copyright: Kit Kittredge

Idea: Kit Kittredge

Credit goes to: Kit Kittredge

All hail the wonderful: Kit Kittredge

“Kit, okay, that’s enough!”

Disclosure: We may or may not be illegally constructing these flowers, filming these flowers and/or commenting on these flowers. These flowers have their own freedom of speech, and we are terribly sorry if we have offended any of them.